


The Secret to Finding Happiness

by Kasket



Series: Beliefs and Secrets [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Czeng, Czeng train 2k17, Dr. Henry Cheng, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Little Mermaid Elements, Lots of neck kissing, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Neck Kissing, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 14:03:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9184903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasket/pseuds/Kasket
Summary: "Normal is never going to be a thing for me. Is it?" Noah asks. Despite how uncaring Noah tries to appear when he stares back at Henry, the melancholy blue in his eyes gives him away.Henry stays silent as he thinks about what to say to such a response.The answer is no.No one goes back to normal after losing seven years of his life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Peeps! This fic is actually a stand-alone sequel to a Pynch one-shot that I wrote for the 2k16 Pynch Secret Santa, [The Belief in Kindness and Miracles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9068440). I recommend reading that fic beforehand, but it's not necessary in order to understand this one. I feel like this was me trying to write a serious Czeng fic, but then my brain just turned a lot of it into fluff. So much fluff. With mermaids? On a serious note, this fic does deal with the subject of traumatic brain injury, readjustment, and dealing with the aftermath of a TBI from an outsider perceptive. Please enjoy.

****Arc 1** **

__

**_**_“The most eager of them all was the youngest, the very one who was so quiet and wistful. Many a night she stood by her open window and looked up through the dark blue water where the fish waved their fins and tails. She could just see the moon and stars. To be sure, their light was quite dim, but looked at through the water they seemed much bigger than they appear to us. Whenever a cloud-like shadow swept across them, she knew that it was either a whale swimming overhead, or a ship with many human beings aboard it. Little did they dream that a pretty young mermaid was down below, stretching her white arms up toward the keel of their ship.”_ ** _ **

__

"I brought you something back." Henry expects no response from the John Doe lying there quietly on the hospital bed.

 

No one, looking at him now, would have guessed that this mysterious John Doe slipped into a coma seven years ago. He looks so serene as if he is sleeping, his chest rising and falling slowly.

 

Reaching deep into the pockets of his scrubs, Henry pulls out a small seashell and places it in John Doe’s hands. It's a tiny, spiral-shaped, opal-colored shell that gleams softly even under the fluorescent lights of the hospital.

 

"It's a seashell," Henry explains.

 

"I'm not sure what sort of seashell it is. I was never good at that sort of thing, but it made me think of you when I found it." Henry describes the shell in perfect detail before he goes on to narrate the tale of how the shell came into his possession. He takes some creative liberties as he paints the story more animatedly and fantastically than what actually happens. He recounts the way that the wind and salt blow through his clothes. The way that the sun melts, bathing a golden wash over everything that the light touches. The way that the salt lingers in the air and the ocean waves break over his feet before sweeping back into the ocean. The way that the sea foam washes up a lonely shell at his feet, glimmering in the golden sunlight. The indescribable feeling that makes Henry thinks that this is predestined. That this tiny seashell--

 

Something catches the corner of his eyes. A slight movement. Henry takes a moment to register what he is actually seeing. A pale and knobbly finger slowly curling around the seashell.

 

"You--" Henry stops abruptly.

 

Cornflower blue eyes stare at him. Hazy and confused, but they are open, and they are looking back at him. Henry feels paralyzed as he reasons with himself what exactly his eyes are seeing.

 

Maybe Henry is dreaming. It's all in his head. It’s the coffee in his system working in overdrive. This is a hallucination. Henry pinches himself. Nope, this is definitely real. So very real.

 

"Henry--" He turns at the call of his name. Adam Parrish is in the doorway.

 

Adam sees the curious blue eyes and drops his clipboard in shock.

 

"He's awake." Adam looks over at Henry and gapes openly.

 

"I know, it just happened. Go get Dr. Milo." Eventually remembering that he has complete mobility of his body, Adam nods, and sprints out of the room in search of Dr. Milo. Henry is left alone with the patient.

 

Slightly petrified, he looks back at John Doe and sees his mouth is moving. Henry can’t make out the sound. He speaks so quietly that Henry has to lean forward so that his ear is next to John Doe's mouth.

 

Even still, it's so faint.  

 

It’s been seven years after all.

 

A realization strikes Henry sudden and all at once.

 

"Welcome back to the human world,” smiles Henry.

__

**_**_“Yet often, in the evening hours, the five sisters would twine their arms around each other, and rise to the surface, in a row. They had more beautiful voices than any human being could have; and before the approach of a storm, and when they expected a ship would be lost, they swam before the vessel, and sang sweetly of the delights to be found in the depths of the sea, and begging the sailors not to fear if they sank to the bottom. But the sailors could not understand the song, they took it for the howling of the storm. And these things were never to be beautiful for them.”_ ** _ **

__

Noah Czerny. His name is Noah Czerny.

 

Waking up from a coma, from a traumatic brain injury, is a process. It takes a while for Noah to gain his voice back and even more time to gain command of his upper body. He'll need physical therapy to get back on his feet, but Dr. Milo believes that Noah will be able to get back to a normal life.

 

What is even normal anymore?

 

He lost seven years of his life.

 

Good news?

 

They find Noah's family. Tears are shed. Some of them belonging to Blue, Adam, and he. Most are shed by the Czerny family, including Noah. Turns out that they were a lot closer than any of them expected. Just a few hours outside of DC in West Virginia. The Czerny family never gave up hope, but the police did. They quit the case a few years back, claiming the possibility of Noah being teenage runaway based off of his track record.

 

Apparently, Noah had a repute for being reckless and spirited. Like girls, alcohol, and reckless driving. That sort of thing. Normal privileged private boarding school boy things. Something that Henry had a hard time picturing when he thought of the quiet and wistful Noah that they had all come to know here at Cabeswater Memorial hospital.

 

After a while, even the Czerny family begin to notice a change. That their Noah is no longer the passionate and vivacious boy that they know.

 

He’s quiet and melancholy and meek.

 

Adele, one of Noah's younger sisters, pulls Henry aside one day.

 

"Dr. Cheng? " Henry stops in the middle of the hall when he spots her. "Do you have a spare moment?" He hesitates for a moment, glancing down at his wristwatch.

 

"I have a few." Henry leads her to a nearby bench to talk quietly.

 

"Did you want to talk about Noah?" Adele nods. Henry notices the pink rims around her puffy eyes. He doesn't say anything about it, but he knows that she has been crying. Henry realizes how exhausted she must be, how exhausted they must all be.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine. I mostly worry about Noah. Is he okay? Is he happy? I don't know…" Her voice wobbles, and a few tears slide down her cheeks. She wipes at them inconspicuously, but it’s too late because Henry has already seen them. A moment later, Adele crumbles and bursts into tears.

 

"I don’t even know who he is. He doesn't seem like himself anymore. He so quiet. I don't know what to do to get him back, and I just really need my big brother now."

 

Henry doesn't know what to say. Anything that came out of his mouth would sound cheap. After everything Adele and her family has gone through, Henry doesn't think that she deserves that.

 

Instead, he wraps an arm around her shoulder and lets her cry into it. It's probably not what ‘old’ Noah would have done, but this is the best that Henry can offer, and it seems to be just enough for her.

 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Burden you with my problems." Embarrassed, Adele sniffs and cleans her face.

 

"I don’t mind listening. Bottling things up isn't good for your health anyway. Adele, it’s normal to feel this way. Noah is going through a lot of changes and readjustments. It’s stressful for both him and you.” Adele would have none of it, shaking her head.

 

"Noah, he's my brother. I should be happy that he's even alive. I’m sorry. I didn't find you to talk about this."

 

Adele reaches into the depths of her purse, pulling out a tiny white envelope. She hands it to Henry, who is dumbfounded.

 

"I wanted to give this to you. I have one for Dr. Milo and Dr. Parrish too. Noah doesn't like to talk much about being in a coma, but he says he remembers your voice. He remembers your voice, talking to him and reading to him. It helped. So thanks for--um, yeah. Everything."

 

Twice in one day, Henry doesn't know what to say. So he says nothing at all because he doesn't know what is liable to come out of his mouth. Instead, he quietly studies his name written on the envelope in perfect cursive.

 

Adele kisses him. Her lips are warm his on the cheeks. She means nothing romantic by this, he knows. Henry feels nothing but simple gratitude radiating from her. Simple gratitude and a deep sadness.

__

**_**_"I would give gladly all the hundreds of years that I have to live, to be a human being only for one day, and to have the hope of knowing the happiness of that glorious world above the stars."_ ** _ **

__

"I've come bearing gifts," Henry announces as he walks in. "Well, I come bearing chocolate. Don't get your hopes up too high." Noah looks worn, sweaty, and a little disgruntled. He must have had physical therapy. Henry drops a small Hershey kiss in Noah's palm.

 

"Just one kiss?" Noah frowns.

 

"Just one. Unless you mean other kinds of kisses. I have plenty of those still left."Noah makes this so easy.

 

"I--I uh, I meant the kiss--” Noah's cheeks redden before he pauses. “No, the--" Henry lets Noah take his time to find the words that he is looking for. Eventually, he does.

 

"I meant…chocolate."

 

"What kind of doctor would I be if I just let you feast on mountains of Hershey kisses?"

 

"A good one."

 

"How was physical therapy?" Henry asks, and Noah makes a sour expression that expresses everything on how he feels about physical therapy.

 

It's the same face that Henry makes whenever someone mentions Tad Carruthers. Seriously, how is that guy a doctor? They all have their theories. Henry has suspected that the hospital is in serious debt to the Carruthers family, and part of their payment is letting Tad run around pretending to be a doctor. Blue speculates that Tad Carruthers is the bastard child of the Chief of Medicine and has threatened to expose Dr. Child's secret unless he makes him a doctor at Cabeswater. Adam thinks that he paid someone for a medical degree. Even Noah joins in on the fun conspiracy theories. He hypothesizes that the real Tad Carruthers died months ago right before his internship, murdered by his evil jealous doppelganger, who has now replaced him.

 

"Miserable."

 

"It can't be all that miserable. You're getting stronger every day. Soon you'll be able to start taking short walks around the hospital halls. You're getting better."

 

"It doesn't feel like it." He grumbles sullenly.

 

"These things take time, Noah. It's a process. It's a miracle that you're beginning to make a full recovery after so long." Noah doesn't believe him. Henry sees it in the way that he grows quiet. In the way that his body starts to collapse in on itself.

 

"Physical therapy isn't what's bothering you. Is it?" Noah's refusal to look at him tells Henry that he's right.

 

"What if…" Noah doesn't say anything for a while, so Henry prompts him.

 

"What if?"

 

"What if… I don't make a full recovery? What if I only partially recover? What if I only go back to being partially Noah?"

 

"Listen, Noah, you--"

 

"Normal is never going to be a thing for me. Is it?" Noah asks. Despite how uncaring Noah tries to appear when he stares back at Henry, the melancholy blue in his eyes gives him away.

 

Henry stays silent as he thinks about what to say to such a response.

 

The answer is no.

 

No one goes back to normal after losing seven years of his or her life.

 

"Life may never feel normal, but it doesn't mean that it can't be filled with normal things like school, work, and a family. Before you know it, you'll be back to wasting hours binge-watching shows on Netflix just like the rest of us normal people."

 

"Netflix?" Noah asks, puzzled. Henry makes the startling realization that Noah had missed the invention of Netflix.

 

"Dear god, you don't know the joys of Netflix! Orange is the New Black? Stranger Things?"

 

"Are you speaking English?"

 

"Don't worry. I'll educate you." Henry realizes that he's getting way off track. "The point I'm making is that people change. People will always change. You've changed, and you don’t feel the Noah Czerny before the incident, but that doesn't stop you from being Noah Czerny. And this shouldn’t step in the way of your happiness."

 

"Happiness?"

 

"Yeah, like whatever makes you happy. Like eating as much chocolate as you want. Traveling. Finding love." Noah snorts disbelievingly at Henry.

 

"I can barely find my balance let alone find love."

 

"There is someone for everyone. And if not, there are cats," This makes Noah laugh, and Henry feels pleased with himself. He would like to hear Noah laugh more often, especially if he's the cause of it.

 

"I'm not very fond of cats."

 

"Then you better start searching, quick."

 

"I wouldn't know what to do. On a date. Not anymore." Noah's face goes pink as he picks at the blanket fabric on the bed shyly.

 

"Trust me, no one knows what they are doing when it comes to romance. We're all bumbling idiots."

 

"Including you?" Henry raises an eyebrow as the two words capture his attention.

 

"Why are you so interested in my romantic life?" Noah's eyes grow comically wide, landing on Henry before quickly averting away. His cheeks redden as his eyes flicker all over the room, looking for an item to focus on. He finally decides on the television in the corner.

 

Henry determines that it's really fun to watch Noah squirm, timid and shy.

 

"I'm not!" He sputters.

 

"You're cute when you're defensive." Henry's lips curved into a delightfully devious grin.

 

"Stop that!"

 

"Telling you how cute you are? But it's true." It is the truth. He does find Noah to be unbelievably cute. However, Henry has a strict light flirting only relationship with patients because he actually likes his job and would prefer to keep it. The flirting is a part of the charm that he puts on as a doctor. The charm keeps the patients distracted while he searches for the answers that he sometimes desperately do not have.

 

With Noah, things are __different__.

 

Henry tries not to think about why things are different with Noah. Thinking about __it__  means acknowledging __it__. Acknowledging it means making active choices about __it__. Right now, he prefers pretending to be in the dark about __it__.

 

"I don't believe you."

 

"Why not?"

 

"You can’t be trusted." Noah wrinkles his nose at Henry. "You flirt too much with your patients and with the nurses." Henry scoffs at the accusation, even if it is true. and raises a questioning eyebrow at Noah,

 

"Who told you that?"

 

"I have my sources."

 

"Blue? Did you ask Blue about me?"

 

"Maybe…" The way that Noah shifts his eyes downward tells Henry that he is right.

 

Interesting.

 

He’s thinking about __it__  now.

 

Henry quickly shuts the thought down. He doesn’t have time for this. At the end of the day, there are people at this hospital who need him. Noah trusts him, and Henry can’t afford to stand here, second-guessing himself over every word that Noah says to him.

 

"I don't think dating or pretty much anything in life is ever going to be normal for me again," Noah says so quietly.

 

"You're right. Life is probably never going to be normal for you." Noah's eyes flicker to him, crestfallen. It is not the answer that he wanted to hear, but Henry isn’t finished yet.

 

"You're an incredibly special person, Noah. No normal person that I know could wake up from a coma seven years later, recover with very little disabilities, and live to be as happy as you're going to be one day. And I would take that over being normal any day."

 

****Arc 2** **

**_**** _ **

**_**_"’Do you not love me the best of them all?’ the eyes of the little mermaid seemed to say when he took her in his arms and kissed her fair forehead. ‘Yes, you are dear to me,’ said the prince; ‘for you have the best heart, and you are the most devoted to me; you are like a young maiden whom I once saw, but whom I shall never meet again...my good fortune has sent you to me... and we will never part.’"_ ** _ **

__

Their first kiss happens on their seventh date.

 

Henry asks Noah to accompany him to the national harbor. So here they are, sitting on the rocks, pants rolled up to their calves, and legs dangling in the water as they watch the harbor at sunset.

 

"I'm thinking about going back to school." Henry looks away from the sunset, surprised by the news.

 

"Really?"

 

"Well, finishing my GED first and then enrolling somewhere for my bachelor's."

 

"Any clue of what you would major in."

 

"Not a clue. I got time."

 

"Have you considered going into medicine? Maybe you can work for Cabeswater as a nurse? There is simply not enough sexy male nurses in mainstream media. I find it a little sexist" Henry waggles his eyebrow suggestively.

 

"Why? So I can watch you smooch on other coma patients?" Noah teases. Henry reacts, aghast.

 

"First of all," Henry holds up a finger. “Gross.” Henry holds up another finger. "Secondly, I have never smooched on a coma patient before, let alone an actual patient. I prefer not losing my job to a sexual harassment lawsuit. Thank you. Third of all," Henry holds up the third finger. "I waited months after you were released to avoid looking like the creeper that you momentarily accused me of."

 

"Can I ask you a question?" Noah grins impishly. Henry has a feeling that he's not going to like this question.

 

"Shoot."

 

"Curious. When did you start liking me?"

 

"If you expecting me to confess that I've always loved you since the first moment my scared shitless medical intern eyes landed on your unconscious body, you'll be sorely disappointed," Henry replies dryly, watching as Noah's cheeks grow flushed.

 

"No one said anything about love." He mumbles, looking off into the distance as the setting sun bathes him in golden light. Every now and then, Noah's gaze would dart to Henry before dancing away. Henry sighs.

 

"There wasn’t a defining moment. It didn't strike like lightening or anything. I guess it was always there, just creeping along beside me, quietly. I didn’t say anything about it then because as a doctor, well, I take my job seriously, and you trusted me to take care of you. That came first. So I waited."

 

"You waited for me. Why?" Noah asks.

 

"I don’t know because I believe that the universe draws people into our lives for reasons that are beyond our control and comprehension. We were meant to meet, Noah Czerny." Noah sucks in a breath when he hears this and Henry doesn't miss the small smile that curves on his lips.

 

"Can ask you something?" Henry asks, his gaze drop to Noah’s shapely pink lips.

 

"I suppose it's fair."

 

"Can I kiss you?" Noah gapes comically at the question, and a resounding laugh escapes Henry's lips. With a red face, Noah shoots Henry a dirty look.

 

"You did that on purpose!"

 

"I didn't, but that reaction was well worth it." Underwater, Henry feels a small kick to his ankle. Henry nudges his foot against Noah's, and they go back and forth for a while. "You didn't answer my question."

 

Noah lets out a nervous laugh, running his hands through his hair.

 

"I haven't kissed anyone in years. I could be bad at it. I could be really bad at it."

 

"That just means we have to practice more." Henry replies, smirking.

 

"You're the worst," Noah says, smiling.

 

His voice grows quieter when he says, "Okay, yes. You can kiss me."

 

Noah is nervous, so Henry offers him his best soft, reassuring smile. Cupping his face in his hand, Henry leans in to kiss him. Noah’s lips are warm and taste of sugar. Henry keeps the kiss brief, but when he pulls away, he feels a sharp tug on the front of his shirt as Noah's lips linger on his. Henry laughs. Something that he immediately regrets when Noah draws back, frowning.

 

"Why are you lip--laughing? Was it that bad? I was nervous--"

 

"No. It was good laughter. You just surprised me is all." Noah looks at him, incredulous. Henry gives Noah's foot a nudge, but he never receives one back. So he nudges again.

 

"No. Your footies privileges have been revoked."

 

"What?"

 

"Yep." Noah's lips pop.

 

"That's completely unfair!."

 

"Sounds like a personal problem,"

 

"Can I gain footies privilege back?" Henry asks.

 

“Depends on what you have to offer?" says Noah.

 

"I have a pair of excellently skilled lips to put to use."

 

"You have no shame."

 

"Not really." And with that, Henry leans forward, capturing Noah's laugh on his lips.

__

**_**_"'Also, you will have to pay me,' said the witch, ‘and it is no trifling price that I'm asking. You have the sweetest voice of anyone down here at the bottom of the sea, and while I don't doubt that you would like to captivate the Prince with it, you must give this voice to me.' ‘But if you take my voice,' said the little mermaid, ‘what will be left to me?'"_ ** _ **

__

The first time that Henry stays over at Noah's new apartment is the first time that Henry discovers that Noah has bad days sometimes. The evening passes by smoothly. They order Chinese takeout and watch a poorly rated Netflix horror movie that they make fun of all the way through.

 

Later that night Henry crawls into bed next to Noah and falls asleep the instant his head hits the pillow.

 

Henry wakes in the middle of the night, and the space across from him is still warm but empty. He thinks that maybe Noah has gotten up to use the bathroom or fetch a glass of water, but when Noah doesn't come back for a long while, Henry explores the apartment.

 

Not in the kitchen.

 

Not in the living room.

 

Not on the balcony.

 

Henry spots a thin strip of light under the bathroom door.

 

"Noah?" He asks quietly. He receives no response.

 

"Noah." Again, no response.

 

Henry knocks on the door, and it quietly pops open. Okay, he's pretty sure a door shouldn't do that and makes a mental note to bring that to Noah's attention. Henry pushes on the door slowly.

 

Henry has imagined his first night at Noah's apartment many different ways, but he doesn't foresee finding Noah, sitting in a bathtub with his arms wrapped tightly around his knees weeping.

 

When Noah glances up and sees him, he looks just as surprised as Henry feels. He furiously wipes the tears off of his redden cheeks.

 

Henry waits for some explanation or some excuse that he can react to, but when it is clear that Noah isn't going to offer one, Henry kneels by the edge of the bathtub, wiping a tear drop off with his thumb.

 

Noah stares down at his knees and refuses to meet Henry’s eyes.

 

"What happened? Did I do something?" Henry asks calmly. Noah shakes his head and sniffs as he wipes more tears from his face, embarrassed.

 

He opens his mouth to speak.

 

"I…have a hard time…bedtime…at night. I mean bedtime.” Noah stops, blows out a frustrated breath and tries to pick up where he left off. “What I'm trying to say is…I wake up, and it's like..chest snakes, and…I can't… air. " Henry stares at Noah like he's grown a second head. Is that even English?

 

Taking a shaky breath, Noah makes a second attempt.

 

"I have a hard time…at night…no--I’m saying" Noah pauses. "I'm… saying--ugh!" Henry’s brow furrows as he tries to connect the dots. When Noah grows too frustrated at his inability to say the right words, he presses his hand against the side of his head, slumps against the tub, and cries.

 

"Hey, you're okay." He slides into the tub with Noah, pulling him to his chest and strokes his hair gently. He tries not to think about how wet the bottom of his pajama pants feels.

 

Noah gasps in little sobs.

 

"You're okay, and you're safe. Just breathe." He whispers, and Noah cries harder, pressing his face into Henry's t-shirt. Henry lets him weep because it's cathartic and the best thing he can offer him, a warm embrace to cry into.

 

It gives Henry time to think and process things. Henry knows that Noah sees a speech therapist, and sometimes Noah has a hard time putting his thoughts into sentences when he seems overwhelmed at times. He has only seen mild forms of it at times, except tonight, when Noah is too distressed to reign it in.

 

"Does bedtime mean sleep?" Noah looks up. His face is blotchy and red. He nods slowly.

 

"You have a hard time sleeping at night?" Another nod.

 

"And when you wake, it's like….what's chest snakes?" Noah opens his mouth to speak and closes it. He doesn't trust himself with words. Instead, he pantomimes, cupping his hands sideways and pushing them inwards.

 

"Playing the accordion?" Noah gives Henry a contemptuous expression and shakes his head.

 

"Choking?" Noah looks surprised when he guesses right, nodding his head.

 

"And I can't air. I can't breathe. Do you suffer from night terror?" Henry asks. Noah looks rather embarrassed to admit it but, he looks also thankful that Henry finally gets it.

 

“Will anything help you fall back asleep?” Noah presses his face into the curve of Henry’s neck. There are more questions burning at Henry. More questions that he wants to ask, but he saves them for another time when Noah feels comfortable talking.

 

"We don't have to go back to sleep. I mean, I've never had sex in a bathtub before." Henry wags his eyebrows, and Noah's annoyed glare sends a clear message that bathtub sex would not be going down. So Henry tells Noah the tale of the Little Mermaid instead.

 

One, because he loves that story. Two, because: "We’ll pretend that you’re the Little Mermaid and your voice was stolen by an evil sea witch." The joke earns him an eye roll. Noah doesn’t have his voice, but his tude comes across clearly

 

Henry spends most of the night entangled with Noah, limbs awkwardly jutting out of a bathtub, telling him story after story after story until sleep comes to claim Henry, and he is too powerless to argue. That night Henry dreams of the wind and the salt and the sea.

 

**_**_“Increasingly she grew to like human beings, and more and more she longed to live among them. Their world seemed so much wider than her own, for they could skim over the sea in ships, and mount up into the lofty peaks high over the clouds, and their lands stretched out in woods and fields farther than the eye could see.”_ ** _ **

 

The year of their first Christmas together, Gansey suggests a secret Santa at the Barn. Ronan thinks that it is the "fucking stupidest thing that Gansey has made him endure since their Glendower days." However, when Noah expresses excitement about traveling to the Barn for the first time ever, Ronan reluctantly agrees to a secret Santa at the Barn on Christmas Eve. Henry knows that Ronan secretly harbors a soft spot for Noah and tucks this information away for future extortion purposes.

 

They drive down together to Singers Falls that Christmas Eve afternoon with Ronan and Adam. Blue has to work a later shift at the hospital, so Gansey and Blue make travel arrangements to arrive after dinner. Throughout the ride, Noah bombards Ronan and Adam with questions about the Barn.

 

"Noah, the fuck if I know!" Ronan finally says exasperatedly.

 

"You house there! You should know. " Noah argues back before he realizes what he says. No one corrects him on it. "I mean, you live there!"

 

"Calm your ass down before I throw you out of one of these fucking windows. I swear." When Ronan no longer take Noah's bait, he turns to Adam.

 

“What’s the Barn like?”

 

Adam is cautious and thoughtful when he answers Noah.

 

"The Barn feels like a place where anything is possible, even magic." This statement makes Noah smile. Ronan snorts.

 

"Parrish, you're such a fucking sap."

 

"You're the one to talk,” Adam smirks and lets his southern accent slips a bit. “Two nights ago, I distinctly remember you saying that my accent reminds you of--" The car swerved a bit as Ronan suddenly throws a hand over Adam's mouth.

 

Noah cackles loudly because even though the sentence goes unfinished, they all understand the meaning of what Adam wanted to say.

 

"I swear to god, Parrish! I will throw you out too!"

 

"I'm disappointed that I don't get to hear more about your pillow talk with Adam," Henry smirks as he meets Ronan's disdainful gaze in the rear view mirror.

 

"I would gladly stop this car and let the three of you walk."

 

Noah nearly throws himself out the car when they arrive, sprinting into the wide snowy fields of the Barn. From the car, Henry watches him. Noah wears an expression filled with wonder and curiosity as he surveys the land, and Henry falls a little more in love with Noah in that moment.

 

"You would have thought that he has never seen a wide open field." Ronan remarks, and Henry realizes that he's not the only one watching Noah. They all were. Memorized by how easily Noah finds joy in things as simple as a wide open field. When Noah eventually makes his way back to the car for his bag, he leans over to Henry and whispers.

 

"I think Adam is right." It takes everything in Henry not to kiss off that sweet, dopey grin of his.

 

When Gansey and Blue arrive, they all gather around the big Christmas tree in the living room to exchange gifts. Ronan gives Blue a children’s book: __Dick and Jane__. Obviously, a gag gift. Henry hopes that it’s a gag gift. To which Blue rolls her eyes at upon receiving.

 

"Hey, it's the thought that counts. Right?"

 

"What are your thoughts about my foot in your ass?"

 

"That was pretty impressive, Maggot. I give it an 8."

 

"An 8? Come on! That was deserving of at least an 8.5"

 

"Because it's Christmas, and I'm generous, 8.7"

 

"Yes!" Blue pumps her fist in excitement. Gansey disapprovingly chimes in on the conversation.

 

"I don't understand why Ronan and you score your insults."

 

"I don't understand why you keep wearing those hideous boat shoes, but you know, the world is a mystery."

 

"Aye! Up top savage Maggot! No one is safe, not even the boyfriend." Ronan and Blue high-five, and Gansey grumbles about how immature and unnecessary that comment was by the Christmas tree. He doesn't sulk long because Blue leans over and kisses him, making soft promises not to harm his boat shoes. However, she couldn't be held responsible for any natural disasters that the shoes may occur.

 

They resume secret Santa when Ronan giving her a real gift: a new sewing kit. Adam gives Gansey a book on the history of the Welsh monarchy. Gansey may have or may not have cried over it.

 

Henry, who has chosen Noah's name out of the bowl, is third to give his gift. A snow globe, and inside, a beautiful figurine of a mermaid sits on the rocks. When Noah opens the gift, he shakes the snow globe and watches as white glitter sprinkles down over her.

 

Noah doesn't say anything. Instead, he takes Henry's left hand, molding it into a certain shape before he creates the same shape in his own right hand, pressing his right and Henry's left together. It makes the shape of a heart; Henry realizes. When Henry glimpses up, Noah looks so happy, and his chest swells with the thought that he is the source of that happiness.

 

In the middle of the night, when Henry wakes, he catches Noah holding the snow globe. Henry yawns and props himself up on a pillow. He tries not the fall back asleep as he watches Noah studying the globe and the mermaid inside. It's tempting when the pillows are so soft and the blankets are so warm.

 

"Do you like it?"

 

"I love it." Noah turns the snow globe over in his hands.

 

"Did you have another night terror?" Noah shakes his head.

 

"I could tell you a story"

 

"No, you should go back to sleep."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because you're sleepy. I hear it in your voice."

 

"Come here." Henry's voice is thick with sleep. Noah is right. He is tired, but it doesn't stop him from pulling Noah close and rolling over him. Noah giggles.

 

"Henry! You're going to crush the snow globe." Henry snuggles his face into the curve of Noah's neck.

 

"But you're so warm."

 

"At least, let me put it up. I would hate for anything to happen to it."

 

"Do you promise to come back?"

 

"I promise to come back."

 

"Pinky swear?" They link fingers. Reluctantly, Henry rolls off of Noah and lets him set the snow globe on the nightstand.

 

Just as he promised, Noah comes back to him. And he is just as soft and warm as ever.

 

"Do you want to hear a secret?" Henry asks. He brushes his lips against the warm flesh of Noah's neck. Noah takes the bait.

 

"Sure." Henry smiles against his neck.

 

"Hm, I got you that snow globe because you're my little mermaid." Noah laughs loudly at this.

 

"Go back to bed. You’ll regret saying that in the morning when I make fun of you."

 

"No. You could make fun of me for the rest of my life, and I would still love you" Henry says. He listens as Noah's breath catches, but he's too tired to registered what he has let slip to Noah.

 

"You're tired. Go back to sleep." Noah is warm, and his fingers are gentle in Henry's hair. It would be so easy to slip into sleep, but Henry fights it.

 

"Do you want to hear another secret?" Henry resists the urge to kiss him all over where soft moonlight illuminates pale skin.

 

"Just one more." Noah smiles. Henry traces a finger lightly against the small nook just above his collarbone and feels Noah inhale sharply.

 

"This is my favorite place to kiss you." He says before he leans down and presses his lips there. He feels Noah tilt his head back and exhale underneath him.

 

"I can tell." Noah sounds out of breath when he says this, so Henry kisses him there again.

 

"Really?"

 

And again.

 

"Mhm…"

 

And another.

 

“Henry--”

 

And another.

 

“Ah.”

 

And another.

 

"Do you want to know a secret?" Noah breaths softly. Henry draws back to peer down at Noah, who is positively flushed under the moonlight.

 

"I love you too."

 

Neither of them gets much sleep that night.

__

**_**_Arc 3_ ** _ **

__

**_**_“The sun rose up from the waters. Its beams fell, warm and kindly, upon the chill sea foam, and the little mermaid did not feel the hand of death. In the bright sunlight overhead, she saw hundreds of fair ethereal beings. They were so transparent that through them she could see the ship's white sails and the red clouds in the sky. Their voices were sheer music, but so spirit-like that no human ear could detect the sound, just as no eye on earth could see their forms.”_ ** _ **

__

After a particularly long and grueling shift at the hospital the night before, Henry sleeps in. Noah's side of the bed is empty. He’s probably already up and bustling around the house.

 

To sleep in or not to sleep in? That is the question. It is a very long debate, but eventually, Henry convinces himself to get up, and he's not pleased with the decision he has made as he looks around at all the cardboard boxes littering their bedroom floor. Getting out of bed means unpacking boxes and being an adult.

 

Maybe he can persuade Noah to come back to bed with him; he thinks. The odds are not in his favor. Noah has been insistent on throwing a house warming party soon, which that can't happen if their house is in packing chaos.

 

With all the effort that he can muster, Henry pulls himself out of the sweet comforts of bed to look for his boyfriend.

 

Noah is nowhere to be found in the bathroom.

 

Or their living room.

 

Or their kitchen.

 

Actually, Noah is nowhere to be found period. However, there is a plate of chocolate chip pancakes left behind on the kitchen table. Henry quickly polishes off the pancakes. It isn't until Henry is washing dishes that Noah comes back with shopping bags wrapped and twisted and tangled around his arms. Henry pauses on the dishes to help carry in bags.

 

"What is all of this?" Henry asks, peering into the bags curiously.

 

"I went shopping for a few things. For the new house. Nothing too big."

 

"I thought we were going to do that together."

 

"I know, but you seemed so tired last night. So I thought I would let you sleep in. I held off on buying decor. I thought we could do that later today."

 

So much for convincing Noah to spend the day in with him. Noah rummages through one of the bags and pulls out a medium sized box. It's a small corner shelf.

 

"I got a new coffee maker on sale, by the way. Oh, and I got cupcake tins. Cool letter magnets to put on the refrigerator. I thought about buying a soap dish for the bathroom, but then I thought what if it doesn't match with the towels we pick out. Why are you laughing at me?"

 

"Because," Henry says in between fits of laughter. "I think it's cute when you get worked up about interior decorating." Henry gently cups Noah's face in his hands. "By the way, thanks for the breakfast." Noah's cheeks go pinkish at the compliment.

 

"Oh. You're welcome."

 

"Have I told you that I love you recently?" Noah takes a moment to think about the answer.

 

"Now that you've mentioned it, I have been feeling a little unloved lately."

 

"Oh really, then we'll have to do something about it," replies Henry, peppering Noah's face with kisses.

 

"Henry!" Noah gasps, twisting and squirming out of Henry's hold. His face is positively pink when he breaks free.

 

"You promised me a house-warming party this weekend. That can't happen if we keep getting distracted. I need you to be useful and get me a screwdriver so I can put together this corner shelf. It would be a much more productive use of your time." Noah tells him.

 

"Kissing can be very productive. Very healthy too. Trust me, I'm a doctor." Henry winks, and Noah can't help but smile.

 

"Find me a screwdriver, and maybe I'll find time in our very busy schedule today for productive kissing."

 

Reluctantly, Henry moves towards the hallway to look for tools. It takes a while to find a screwdriver, but he finds one located in one of the boxes in the hallway closet.

 

"Hey, I found it!" Henry announces proudly on his way back to the living room. "I was thinking we could schedule productive kissing time between--shit!" Henry instantly drops everything in his hands, and it feels like his heart drops out of his chest when he sees Noah lying on the floor, twitching violently.

 

"Shit! Noah!" Henry rolls his body over and pulls his head into his lap. His blue eyes, glassy and vacant, stare up at the ceiling.

 

Fuck.

 

But the worst part is the noise.

 

The horrible choking noise that Noah makes, like wounded animal fighting for air. Henry sits there with his eye squeezed shut tightly and cringes at the awful sound.

 

The minutes crawl dreadfully slow, and eventually Noah's body goes as silent and still as a corpse. Henry helps him up to the couch and waits for Noah to come back. He's a little disorientated when he wakes, but other than that, he is fine.

 

"It happened again?" Noah asks.

 

Henry nods. He feels his heart pounding in his chest and nausea boiling at the pit of his stomach.

 

"Sit here. I'll get you a glass of water." Henry gets up quickly to go riffling through boxes in the kitchen. He's not even sure if he's searching for a glass; he just needs something to keep his mind occupied. It fails as none of the glasses meet his satisfaction. Gripping the edge of the counter, Henry squeezes his eyes shut and forces himself to inhale deeply.

 

Inhale.

 

Exhale.

 

Inhale.

 

"Henry?" Henry flinches at the call of his name. Turning his head to the side, Noah stands in the kitchen doorway, small and sullen.

 

"I'm sorry," Noah says so faintly by the door. It's so faint that Henry barely catches it.

 

"You don't need to apologize. Unless this is a horrible prank you've been playing on me for years." Henry tries to laugh, but the task proves to be a difficult one when he's shaken up so badly. Henry watches as Noah grows more morose by the second.

 

"I'm fine, Noah," Henry reassures him, cracking a smile that didn't fully meet his eyes.

 

"You're not fine."

 

"Noah--"

 

"You're doing that thing…that thing…" Noah starts to fumble over his words, but he finds his train of thought again. "--that thing where you pretend like everything fine."

 

"What else am I suppose to do?" Henry replies exasperated.

 

"Be honest about your face. No, that's not what I mean, I mean--face."

 

"And make you feel shitty? Fuck, I'm terrified every time it happens. Like where do you even go when that all happens?" Noah opens his mouth to respond, but Henry continues.

 

"I still don't know about that night. Have you even talked to someone about that night?"

 

"No--want to--mouth." Noah grows even more confused and distressed when the words seem to escape him. They run through his hands like water. Nothing solid that he can grab onto. He reaches up to rub the side of his face, defeated. "No."

 

"Have you even considered talking to a professional--"

 

"No."

 

"It wouldn't hurt looking into--"

 

" _ _NO__!" Noah roars; the sheer intensity takes Henry by surprise.

 

"I…do speech. And--and box for sleep. Box for head--Uh, um, box, no." Defeated, Noah gives up on words and attempts to make motions with his hands, but he's moving too fast for Henry to understand any of it. Noah's face scrunches tightly before he implodes.

 

"FUCK!" Noah presses the heel of his palms over his eyes, heaving heavily as he forces himself to breathe.

 

Henry realized that he has royally fucked up. Gently tugging Noah's hands from his face, Henry wipes the tears from his cheek

 

"I'm sorry. “ Henry apologizes softly. “I’m an idiot. I shouldn't have pushed you like that." Noah sniffs, looking down at the kitchen tile. Henry pulls him into a loose hug, giving him enough space to pull away if Noah needs to. He doesn’t, but instead presses his face into Henry’s shoulder, shaking.

 

Henry still wants to talk to Noah about that night and seeing a therapist, but he realizes that now is not the time. Maybe later when they have both calmed down. A long quiet hush falls over them.

 

And then Henry hears.

 

"I'm really fucked up," Noah says it so quietly, and Henry presses his face in Noah's  hair and squeezes him tightly

 

"No, you're not."

 

"I am."

 

"Well, I still love you anyway," Henry says, and Noah gives a watery laugh.

 

"You're crazy."

 

"For loving you? No. Other things? Maybe." This makes Noah laugh again.

 

Good. Laughter is good. Laughter is a start.

__

**_**_"And then he kissed her rosy mouth, played with her long waving hair, and laid his head on her heart while she dreamed of human happiness.”_ ** _ **

__

They set a date for it, as unromantic as it sounds, but Henry wants to give Noah all the time that he needs to prepare. Enough time to change his mind.

 

So when Henry arrives home from a shift that evening, Noah is waiting for him. It’s difficult to tell how long Noah has been standing there, waiting for him to walk through the door. If he had to guess, he would say awhile by how wired Noah appears. Henry reaches out and pulls Noah into him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

 

"Hey." Henry greets softly.

 

"Hey."

 

Neither says anything else for a while until Noah can’t stand it any longer.

 

"So, do we get started? Or…" Noah licks his lips nervously and runs a hand through his hair. When Henry doesn't say anything right away, he bulldozes through.

 

"I made a playlist. We can sit down together, and you can take out the songs that you don't like." This makes Henry laugh for some reason, and Noah scowls at the reaction. He likes scowling Noah compared to the anxious Noah he saw moments ago.

 

"This isn't funny." Henry presses his face into Noah's neck, letting his lips brush against soft skin. Instantly, he feels Noah melt into him.

 

"It's a little funny," Henry mumbles into Noah's neck. It's warm, and he would very much like to stay there.

 

"You're killing the mood."

 

"I'm sorry." Henry's laughter settles down, but his smile remains. Noah rolls his eyes before taking Henry by the hand.

 

"I have a surprise for you." He says as he leads them down the hall. Henry doesn't miss how clammy Noah's palms are or how nervous and fidgety he has become again. Henry stops outside their bedroom door.

 

"You know, we don't have to do this tonight if you're not ready." Noah's scowl returns as he huffs.

 

"I'm ready. I just want--" Noah pauses abruptly, and Henry sees that he's trying to connect the thoughts together and churn them into comprehensible words.

 

"I just want--ugh." When Noah appears too frustrated with himself, Henry takes his clammy hand and kisses it softly.

 

"It's okay, Noah. Take a few deep breaths for me." Noah closes his eyes and does as he is told.

 

"I'm ready," Noah repeats because, at the moment, it's the only thing he knows for sure that he can convey. Getting worked up would just make it worst.

 

"Okay."

 

"Close your ears." Henry knows what Noah means and closes his eyes. A long pause. Henry then hears.

 

"Eyes."

 

"Good catch." Noah's sweaty palm find his again and leads him a few steps into their bedroom. He decides not to mention the damp palm bit to Noah. It would probably mortify him to know.

 

"Can I open my eyes?"

 

"Yes." It takes a quick moment for his vision to fully come back, but when it does, he smiles at the sight. Noah has found every blanket and pillow in the apartment to construct a cozy fort decorated with a dozen of tea candles and strings of colorful Christmas lights.

 

"You made a blanket fort?" Henry asks.

 

" Is it too lame?" Noah asks quietly. Nervously.

 

"No. I love it." Henry speaks honestly.

 

Noah crawls inside the blanket fort, reclining onto his back and looking up at Henry expectantly. Henry thinks that he's trying to be sexy, but he looks more constipated than anything else. So instead, Henry does something unexpected. He blows out the tea candles. He keeps the Christmas lights. They're fun and festive.

 

"Henry!"Noah sits up and watches incredulously.

 

"You're over-thinking this. Sex should be enjoyable. And it's okay to be nervous your first time, but you're stressing too much about this. So instead, we're going to spend a fun night in this awesome blanket fort, that you so lovingly made. We’re eating popcorn, drinking pinot grigio, and finishing Scandal season 2. Then I'm going to kick your sorry ass in a game of Ticket to Ride. If at any point in the night, you feel comfortable initiating sex, then we can do. But we don't have to do this tonight, Noah."

 

"Are you sure?"Noah asks. He appears slightly relieved to have the pressure of making tonight special taken off of his shoulders. Henry nods, leaning over to kiss him softly. When Henry pulls back, Noah asks.

 

"Can we have kettle corn instead?" This makes Henry laugh.

 

That night, they do exactly as Henry says. They feast on white wine and kettle corn as they argue over who is best for Olivia. Henry votes for Fitz. Noah roots for Jake. They play Ticket to Ride, which Henry totally kicks Noah's ass in, but they'll never know who won because Noah accidentally kicks the game board on the way to the bathroom before they could score. Noah calls it an accident. Henry calls it foul play. They lay on their backs and make shadow puppets on the roof of the blanket fort.

 

Lastly, they talk. They talk and talk and talk about anything and everything. They talk about whether they should host a game night at their apartment next weekend with the gang, about the stuff that stars are made of, about Wikipedia holes. About anything and everything until they are both too tired.

 

"Henry," Turning his head, he finds Noah smiling at him under the colorful glow of Christmas lights. This must be what happiness is made. The soft curves of Noah Czerny's smile and the cornflower blue in his eyes.

 

The gentle press of Noah's warm mouth on his interrupts his thoughts, and they stay like this for a long time. Theirs mouths caressing and tasting and exploring. There is no rush. Just gentle ease. Henry pulls away when Noah's thin and nimble fingers slide under his shirt and roam over smooth skin. Noah's fingers tips are warm against his stomach.

 

"I'm sorry. Was that-" Noah looks worried, and Henry reassures him.

 

"No, don't be. I like it."

 

"Oh."

 

"We don't have to--"

 

"I know."

 

"--tonight." Noah laughs.

 

"Are you trying to talk me out of it?" Henry laughs with him, pressing his face into Noah's chest.

 

"No. I want this. Trust me when I say that I have been waiting for this moment for a very __very__  long time. I just want to make sure that this is something you really want." Henry feels Noah take in a deep breath.

 

"I want this too." He hears Noah say. Henry looks into the clear blue of his eyes, searching for signs of apprehension.

 

"Okay."

 

"Kiss me." Henry's head dips to kiss Noah's shoulder.

 

"Not there. I mean, maybe later, but I want you to kiss me on the mouth." This earns another laugh from Henry.

 

"You're so demanding." Henry kisses Noah's mouth, long and slow. He doesn’t recall when or how clothes are discarded, but he remembers other things. He remembers the feeling of Noah pressed against him. And the sounds Noah makes when he is kissed here and touched there. And the sight of Noah after they are both spent, with his eyes closed, smiling under the colorful shimmer of lights.

 

Noah falls asleep before him that night, and Henry dreams. He dreams of mermaids lying at bottom of the ocean floor as light shimmers overhead.

__

**_**_“’So I shall die,’ said the little mermaid…’No,’ said the old woman, ‘unless a man were to love you so much that you were more to him than his father or mother; and if all his thoughts and all his love were fixed upon you, and the priest placed his right hand in yours, and he promised to be true to you here and hereafter, then his soul would glide into your body and you would obtain a share in the future happiness of mankind.’”_ ** _ **

__

It is Gansey who suggests the idea of a beach trip. Surprisingly, no one fights him on it. So early one Sunday morning, they pile into cars and drive down to the beach.

 

When Ronan suggests to Noah the idea of going down to the water, Gansey stops them right in their tracks.

 

"No one is going anywhere until you all have sunblock on." Ronan outwardly groans at the command.

 

"Dick, stop being such a dad."

 

"I'm serious, Ronan. You need to protect your skin." Behind Gansey, Blue snickers.

 

"What the fuck are you laughing at Sargent? You heard him. No one is going anywhere until we __all__  have sunblock on, including you."

 

"I don't need sunscreen," Blue says defiantly, folding her arms over her chest.

 

"Why doesn't the maggot have to put on sunscreen?" Ronan complains.

 

"Because I'm not going to burn red like a lobster if I go out into the sun. It's one of the very few perks of being a brown person in America. Talk to me about wearing sunscreen once we destroy institutionalized racism." No one has a comeback for that, so Ronan snatches the sunscreen out of Gansey's hand.

 

"Fine, I'll wear the fucking sunscreen." He growls and drags Adam off to help him put sunscreen on. Gansey turns to Blue, absolutely beaming with pride before he pecks her on the cheek.

 

"Blue, that was absolutely brilliant!" Blue practically preens at the compliment.

 

Noah tosses a bottle of sunblock in Henry's direction before settling down in between his legs, He looks over his shoulders at Henry, smiling. "Do you mind helping me?"

 

"Not at all," Henry says as he opens the bottle. Noah sits patiently as Henry rubs sunblock lightly into his shoulders and his back and his arms. So absorbed in the task, Henry misses when Noah says something to him.

 

"Huh?"

 

"I asked if you wanted to collect seashells later." Noah looks concerned,

 

"Hm, sure." Henry hums. Noah scrutinizes him closely, his eyebrows furrows as he looks for something that is out of place.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

"I'm peachy." Henry smiles.

 

"You're distracted," Noah replies suspiciously. Henry continues to smile pleasantly as Noah's gaze narrows.

 

"Yo Noah, race you down to the water. Loser pays for winner's dinner." For the first time in his life, Henry thanks the gods for Ronan Lynch, who completely distracts Noah's attention.

 

"You're on!" Henry watches them, sprinting down the beach pushing and shoving each other.

 

"So…" Blue grins, saddling up to Henry's side. "What do you think about Paris?"

 

"Paris?" Adam asks, sitting on Henry's other side. "You two have been conspiring all morning in the car. Are you two planning on running away? Gansey and Noah would be heart-broken."

 

"Paris is too conventional. Too obvious." Henry says, ignoring Adam. "I was thinking Rome."

 

"Ooh! Rome would be nice." Blue comments.

 

"Seriously, what are you two conspiring about?" Adam snaps mildly annoyed to be left out of the loop.

 

"Can we trust him?" Henry asks quietly. Blue shrugs her shoulders in response.

 

"I'm not entirely sure."

 

"I'm sitting right here, you now." Adam grumbles.

 

"At the worst, he could tell Ronan. And I don't think Ronan would really care." Blue reasons.

 

"Not care enough to say anything or not care enough to keep it a secret?" Henry logically quips back. "Also, I can foresee possible extortion from Ronan if he gets his hands on this."

 

"Fair point, but if we don't tell Adam, this could drive in our wedge in our group dynamic at work. He'll sense the secrecy between us. He'll never truly feel like one of us."

 

"I sense the secrecy now," Adam says dryly.

 

Blue looks at Henry, and Henry looks at Blue. A silent conversation takes place before Henry sighs and leans over to whisper in Adam's ears. Adam takes a moment to process the news.

 

"Oh. That makes sense. This in the hands of the wrong person could be dangerous." Both Blue and Henry nod.

 

"What could be dangerous?" Gansey asks, glancing between the three of them suspiciously. The trio looks at each other, mildly panic-stricken.

 

"Skin cancer. We're just discussing the health benefits of putting on sunscreen." Adam lies smoothly. It impresses Henry.

 

"Thank you! Finally, someone gets it!"

 

"Do you want to build a sand castle? If we take our smartphones, we can research ways to incorporate medieval Gothic architecture?" Gansey's face breaks out into a gleeful grin.

 

"Adam Parrish, sometimes I think that you're the only person in this world who truly understands me." Henry hears Gansey say to Adam as they walk away together. Adam turns over his shoulders and smiles at Henry.

 

"We made a good choice," Blue says, and Henry couldn't agree even more.

 

Like promised, Noah and he go looking for seashells. However, a certain someone is very selective about the sea shells that he wants to collect. So selective that they have collected zero shells.

 

Noah examines a beautiful coral shell closely, shakes his head, and puts it back in the sand. He sighs.

 

"Maybe we should try later. Sunset?" He suggests

 

"I don't think that the ocean is going to order a whole new shipment of shells for you by sunset. It doesn't work that way."

 

"But you found my shell at sunset, right?" The question catches Henry off guard.

 

"What?" Henry asks. Reaching into his pocket, Noah pulls out something, and Henry's lips part slightly when he recognizes the opal gleam of the shell in Noah's hand.

 

"You still have this?" Noah nods again.

 

"Yes. I've been trying to find one for you for years. Not exactly the same one, but nothing seems special enough--"

 

"Oh, Noah, you sweet person, you!" Henry laughs as he grabs Noah's face and kisses him hard. He feels the shell press into his shoulder blade sharply, but he doesn't care enough to say anything about it because he's kissing the sweetest and the loveliest person in the whole wide whirling wonderful world.

 

When they break apart, both flushed and panting, Noah is wearing a bright sunny smile, and Henry is sure that his smile feels just as bright and sunny as Noah's smile looks.

 

The words seem to tumble out of Henry's mouth.

 

"I love you--"

 

"I know. I love you too."

 

"--and will you marry me?"

 

"Wait--" The proposal takes Noah off guard. Henry feels his cheeks burning hot.

 

"I wasn't planning on asking this way. Or even today. I was thinking about a trip to Italy soon. Roses everywhere. Romance. Privacy. You know the whole nine yard. It sort of just came out. It just seems right."

 

"You want to marry me," Noah says so thoughtfully and so slowly. After a moment, he laughs and his face breaks out into a smile before he buries his face in his hands. Gently, Henry pulls Noah's fingers away from his face so he can get a good look at those blue eyes that he adores so much. __As blue as the loveliest cornflower and as clear as glass.__

 

"Yeah, you," Henry says quietly.

 

"Yes."

 

"Yes?"

 

"I mean, yes. I want to marry you too." Noah looks out on the far edges of the ocean where the water meets the sky as waves of sea foam wash over their ankles. Their fingers slowly link together. When Henry hears Noah laugh, he looks over at him curiously.

 

"What's so funny?"

 

"Nothing. I'm just… really happy."

**Author's Note:**

> If you have questions or have just something to say, feel free to drop a comment or message me on [tumblr](http://rarity-kasket.tumblr.com/)!


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